It never occurred to me to start a blog about this most personal of experiences... until just yesterday. The pieces came together in parts: first a class I took on politics in the media got me thinking about blogging as a sort of digital diary and then yesterday, over a couple pints with a friend, we started talking about this crazy idea of mine and she suggested I start a blog... as so here I am.
40 days have passed since I began my own 365 days of intimacy and I haven't recorded anything about those first few weeks- until now! I will recount some general feelings and experiences that I have encountered up until this point and from now on, I would like to log the specifics more regularly, if for no other reason than to sort out my feelings and have a record of this year to refer to in future years of marriage.
Soooo... it all started when I read an article in Newsweek about this fabled book. I was intrigued. The author claimed that having sex with her husband every night for a year completely changed their marriage and relationship- for the better. Not that my relationship was terrible, because it wasn't at all- but it was far from perfect- especially where intimacy and communication was concerned. I tried to get my hands on said book, but alas it wasn't out in stores yet so I had to improvise and go on what I already knew: wife offers gift of sex every day for a year to husband, husband of course does not refuse this present and they set forth on their magical journey of sex and all things that this encompasses.
Rick was sceptical, to say the least. Don't get me wrong, he was interested and definitely all for it, but he didn't seem to take me seriously, which could be because of my lack of interest in the big "S" up until this point. We both agreed that sex would still be optional, for both parties. With these basic guidelines we got started right away on his birthday night in our quint B and B!
The first night was great- no problems as it had been a LONG time since relations prior to this event. However, in the back of mind I was thinking, "can I really do this EVERY NIGHT for a year?!?!" The next day came and when he made his moves, for the first time in a long time, I didn't brush him off or resist. And so we had begun...
We are up to day 40 now and I want to start keeping tabs on our progress, but here's a brief summary of what I have learned up until this point:
We had to change some of the rules... when he is gone all day, until late at night (we're talking 1 or 2 in the morning) sex just isn't going to happen- he didn't seem to think this was welshing on my part.
I have loosened up a LOT... , which is a big switch from how I was before we started this.
The big "O"- honestly I wasn't expecting too much. I figured every now and again I might actually "fully" enjoy our daily encounters- but not regularly. I was wrong there... even now I go into it thinking, "probably won't this time- but that's okay" but the next thing you know, there it is!
We are closer. I feel closer anyway. We touch more in general- not just in a sexual way. We hold hands, caress, hug, kiss and snuggle and it's been really a nice change.
So far anyway, I don't stress as much about chores and he seems to be doing more to help out without resentment or bitterness.
Basically- we are getting along really well and are happy to be around each other.
I know this will get harder, we are both on summer break right now and have a LOT more time to work on this. When we start back to work, we will have to schedule sex in, which may prove to be difficult. But at least we will have a few months underway before we are back to the grind.
So that leaves us here, on day 40. Rick's still in bed and here I sit in front of this computer typing away details of my personal life... I hope to continue this though, I think it will be a good way to sort out all the emotions that will go along with such a lofty goal. So in other words... there will be more to come...
